It's been a long time and I still can't seem to sometimes get you out of my mind. The memories we created together were something else and sometimes still bring tears as they ring in my head. What I had with you wasn't something I don't think I'd had with anyone. You were special and you held my heart for a long time. And I know for a fact, I surrendered myself to you. I loved you sleflessly and unconditionally. And I know you loved me more than you even could love and you proved it by ways that are beyond anyone's imagination. When you first broke the news of our "seperation" to me I was devastated and I didn't quite WANT to understand that what you were doing was to bring out the best in me and that our conversations, our relationship and love was just holding me back. But I guess it was time we let each other go. But suddenly, I miss you. It's not that am in love with you again, it can't be and it isn't. It's just that sometimes I think that you were so special and the things you did for me were so extremely unnatural for anyone, that I don't think anyone else can match up to it. And now because of you am afraid I'll never be able to love again. Am not accusing you of anything, you were one of the most beautiful things that could happen to a girl. It's just I know am over you, yet somehow I can't seem to move on. I can't seem to convince myself that not everyone is like you, that I need to give someone else a chance. I may have partly given someone else that chance, but not completely. I can't get myself to feel the same way as I did about you. And knowing that you & I were never meant to be is what freaks me out even more. What if I really never manage to fall in love again? What if I never move on? What if I continue to expect the same thing from everyone? Am scared. You'll always be special no doubt, and you're still my friend. Just let's do something by which I can set myself free from this fear and give a chance to the person who actually waits to hold my heart the way you once upon a time did. Am hoping the change will come and hoping it won't affect us and the friendship we now share. But more than anything, am hoping I can move one.
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