This & That

This & That
This is something I describe
And so is that, but of something else
That they connect and contradict each other
Remains a fact throughout this piece.

Tears & Smiles
My tears resemble sorrow
My smiles depict joy
That my tears are never of happiness
That sorrow shall always fade my smile.

Twists & Turns
Twists cause something beautiful to be disfigured
While turns change their shape flawlessly
When life seems to twist into labyrinths
You sometimes discover turns to escape those muddles.

Bricks & Tricks
Bricks, those building blocks that build walls
Tricks, those stupefying acts people perform
But that sometimes bricks between people fall apart
Such a trick was never performed.

Love & Truth
Love is personal and shared often between two
Truth is universal and known to everyone.
But that love has always been faithful and loyal to the other
Such a truth was never known to all.

Life & Death
Life is what you sometimes think is a penalty
And death is what you very often hope to seek
But till death tragically shadows upon you
You realise how beautiful life had always been.

Summer Break

Ever wondered what the word “Break” meant? By the definition provided by the English language, it’s a span of time when you have no pressure of work or school. No parents hovering, no teacher detaining you for cutting class. It’s just all about you and how you want to spend the only most thrilling 6 weeks of your life where you can design and create your own heaven.
I knew exactly what I want to do this summer. Go to Goa where I can actually relax on a beach without being too hawked and watched and having about a ton of conservative opinions thrown at my face by the “elders”. Relax on a beach chair under a wide yellow umbrella, listen to the waves with a fruit punch in m hand and watch the sunset. Then go over to LA to get some more beach fun and fly down to Manhattan and get myself some awesome designer wear like in Gossip Girl and 90210. And probably think about my next trip to probably somewhere in France or Venice or something. That’s my dream of a perfect summer.
Unfortunately, some dreams are just meant to remain unrealistic hallucinations; like summer break. 6 hours before breaking the good news of holiday fun, teachers start breaking some bad news about what to do DURING the holidays. So I was dumped with about 25 worksheets of Math, 2 English assignments, a 4000 word essay on a Portuguese India, another essay on how truth rules our lives, some phony business assignment and of course some français to do. So instead of having some fun on the beach I’m going to be stuck at home consulting the ghost of Newton and asking him what he was thinking while inventing calculus; converting a disgusting Greek mother-rapist skank’s life history into an English autobiography; cursing the Portuguese for having come all the way to Goa when they could have actually just could have stayed home and celebrated Vasco-da-Gama’s Day or something and thus, having saved me the trouble of doing research on own my fellow countrymen eventually just drove them away so technically it was a shameful thing for the Portuguese too; then I have to understand the whole cosmic meaning of truth and how it dominates and eventually crushes down my world; collect some stupid business advisors’ advice; and of course express my gratitude to my French professor who just made life so much worse by handing over a task of comprehending about 8 lives of some nasty French maniacs and then essaying how I spent my “Summer Break”, little does she know that she’s going to have some very unrealistic ideas from my side. And then to give myself a “break” of about an hour or two, I’ll be catching up with the latest episodes of GG and 90210, which by the way are also approaching their respective season finales. Wonderful! This is the most ideal summer break anyone could possibly ever have.
That’s my side of cribbing about it. Your most welcome to share your summerside story too.
(P.S. Don't answer that last bit, unless of course your summer turned out to be phonier than mine)

The Dream Man

Last night was the most amazing night of my 16 years of existence. Never have I dreamt this way about what I wanted.
Call me crazy but I took this weird quiz thingy on my cell phone the other day which said that I would meet my soul mate somewhere in July, 2011. Since then I’ve been so curious and eager to know who he is. I think it was really on my mind which is why I had such an awesome night.
I dreamt about him.
He wasn’t what I imagined him to be, but only better. Tall with brown hair and brown eyes, wide smile, full lips and sweet breath.
I dreamt about him walking up to me. He was wearing a black shirt with black trousers and had a bunch of blue orchids, my favourite flowers, in his hands. He’s perfect! He was beautiful, like nothing I’ve seen before. I know that his description seems to be like any ordinary guy. But this jaw-dropping-drooling-over man had this aura about him that just lured me to him. My heart thudded loudly once and then stuck to the walls of my chest like wall paper. Not even for a nanosecond could I take my eyes off of him. And then he walked up to this stupefied me, a little puzzled by my very unnecessary and somewhat silly expression. And when I told him it was his beauty and love that got my head reeling he laughed and stooped and kissed me. It was a kiss that contained love that is absolutely inexpressible in words. It’s funny am going to be with this glowing glorified guy someday, I seem just too ordinary next to him. But I guess the fact that we will love each other only, and wont have to share ourselves with any one else, just knowing that he will be mine and mine alone assures me that I may be too ordinary but our love will know no such boundaries. I pray, like every other girl that our love would be deeper or at least as deep and unconditional as Romeo and Juliet’s or Bella and Edward’s.
And knowing that am going to fall in love wit someone forever, is what makes me so happy and ecstatic right this very moment.

You & Me

You’re the most beautiful thing that could happen to me
You’re the one I can rely on
The one I can love the most
The one I can trust.

You’re the one who, to my heart’s content
I can yell at
Be proud of
And surprise.

You’re my identity
My reflection
My soul
My life

You’re every breath in me
You’re every drop of blood in me
You’re my silly little munchkin
You’re my sweetheart.

You’re the one who calms me down
You’re the one who encourages me
The one who gets me through the longest
And the most unbearable hardships.

You make me
You break me
You’re the one with me for all of eternity
We can’t escape from each other.

You elate me
Like thousands of angels lifted my heart
You send butterflies fluttering in my stomach
When someone looks at me.

You have everything to do with me
You’re all of this to me
I love you, I love me
Because that you is me, because you are me.

Reflections and Regrets.

Cold,
Your embrace,
It’s the only warmth.
You’re touch is the feeling
That sets the tingle in my soul.

Still,
The breeze in my hair,
It’s the only movement.
To be here in your arms and stay
Motionless forever, it’s the satisfaction I desire.

Quiet,
The thudding of our hearts
It’s the only sound I can hear
We’re meant to be together
That’s all it could mean.

Smile,
It’s like sunshine in my life
The twinkle
It tells me am going to be fine
It tells me everything’s going to be okay.

Blessed,
We are together,
Your hand in mine
There’s no danger I fear now
You’re my safest place to hide.

……

Stop!
You’re walking to fast.
I can’t catch up with you.
You’re running away, you’re betraying me
You’re leaving me to the loneliest survival.

Shock,
My world turning upside down
My life rocked
My heart a hard rock
Sitting numb in my chest.

Broken,
That rock’s shattering into pieces
Its venom burning my body
The wounds deepening every second
My world tearing ever moment.

Bleed,
The drops refusing to ooze
From my now worthless body
Clotting inside
Aching every second of my existence.

Tears,
They’re streaming down now
Piercing my skin
Their taste the sourest thing
Ever known to mankind.

Burn,
My life in front of me
Set to flames
You set it to fire
And all that’s left is ashes.

Die,
After I write this to you,
It’s all I have left to do.
You’re responsible for all of this
For the hatred I now store for you, in my heart, in the archives of my memories.

Having you in my life
Every second spent with you
Every moment dedicated to you
This is all I reflect upon
This is all I regret.

Wounds...

It's been a long time and I still can't seem to sometimes get you out of my mind. The memories we created together were something else and sometimes still bring tears as they ring in my head. What I had with you wasn't something I don't think I'd had with anyone. You were special and you held my heart for a long time. And I know for a fact, I surrendered myself to you. I loved you sleflessly and unconditionally. And I know you loved me more than you even could love and you proved it by ways that are beyond anyone's imagination. When you first broke the news of our "seperation" to me I was devastated and I didn't quite WANT to understand that what you were doing was to bring out the best in me and that our conversations, our relationship and love was just holding me back. But I guess it was time we let each other go. But suddenly, I miss you. It's not that am in love with you again, it can't be and it isn't. It's just that sometimes I think that you were so special and the things you did for me were so extremely unnatural for anyone, that I don't think anyone else can match up to it. And now because of you am afraid I'll never be able to love again. Am not accusing you of anything, you were one of the most beautiful things that could happen to a girl. It's just I know am over you, yet somehow I can't seem to move on. I can't seem to convince myself that not everyone is like you, that I need to give someone else a chance. I may have partly given someone else that chance, but not completely. I can't get myself to feel the same way as I did about you. And knowing that you & I were never meant to be is what freaks me out even more. What if I really never manage to fall in love again? What if I never move on? What if I continue to expect the same thing from everyone? Am scared. You'll always be special no doubt, and you're still my friend. Just let's do something by which I can set myself free from this fear and give a chance to the person who actually waits to hold my heart the way you once upon a time did. Am hoping the change will come and hoping it won't affect us and the friendship we now share. But more than anything, am hoping I can move one.

It's all over

Finally!
I've been working my ass off for these and their finally over.
Am so glad.
The past 3 days were so bad, I could have killed someone, especially Dad since he got back from GOA! Yes people G-O-A Goa! And that too when I was slogging for this shit.
I haven't slept and I had to take crocins for my brain blasting headaches!!
And then there's Georgie Porgie who has NO LIFE except calling people up at 7 in the morning. I mean what's your problem we're studying and trying to get you good results be happy for once. And it's not like you've ever given an IOC, you wouldn;t know so keep your trap SHUT!
But it's all over and my poor frazzled nerves can now take a break. phew!
And I've been crying my eyes out.
Seriously, IB IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO SOMEONE!!!
No wait,
CORRECTION: - PODAR & GEORGE are the worst things that could happen to a person.!!!

Sunday MALL Times

Today was fun.

I went shopping with my wifey aka Natalie.

I was late, as usual. She was waiting at LANDMARK for me. I'd been dying to go there so I could finally buy and complete the whole TWILIGHT collection. But that took like 2mins. So then we decided to go and buy Natalie's Mum a card for her birthday. She then told me about her weird habits of demanding gifts of her kid brother, Arosh, on his birthday. And when I asked her why this was what she had to say:

"Because it's Arosh's birthday. God!"

Lol I really wanted to laugh then, but I stopped myself.

We were thinking of what to do then, so we went upstairs again and she got herself a choclate chip mousse from Baskin Robins and some candy letter thingies too. She really cribbed about the excessive pink letters which, surprisingly, she really hates. She actually made the poor candy man pick out the pink ones for her an put more of the white ones. But at the end she was stuck with excessive pink and very little of the white. She really hates those pink ones, so much so that when I asked her for some, she'd always give me a pink one.

Then we called up Utsav and tried bugging him. When we asked him to meet us, he asked us to come visit him at Bandra. And so we just hung up on him.

Afraid of being victimized by boredom, we decided to go back to LANDMARK and sit there and read. Funny thing is when we re-entered they asked me for my bag that had ECLIPSE and BREAKING DAWN, which I had bought from there, five mins before. So I had to take another ECLIPE book, we went to look for a place to sit. Natalie, on the other hand, grabbed 3 books. Some thing on LOVE ASTROLOGY, some teenage book and some really creepy one, whose cover had some chick who looked alot like the cute, but, annoying KATIE HOLMES. Then we had to sit on the floor and read because being a Sunday, LANDMARK was packed!

It's human nature that when you're with one of your best friends, you can barely read, no matter how interesting the book is. So we began bitching about random people passing by and their clothes. We would suddenly laugh and people passing by us would think we were really retarded, which we kind of are. Oh, and we also called up Arveen and bugged him. Well Natalie did, I just called him up. She told him about her nervousness about the upcoming IOCs, the Math test and how she's sure of getting only 2 marks but not a 0. She then really whacked him by taling about his vocabulary which was kinda mean, but then she apologised. Lol. Then I we discusses our "passion" for books and she told me about her favourite books, of which I took a note and decided to buy after my finals. In fact, while leaving, I kind of went back to see the title of the books again and saved them on my cell phone's "drafts" section. Yes I know, lame.

Then we went to the CCD next to the mall, where they took ages to get one open sandwich and a cool blue. And after it was finally served and as I munched away at half of it, we criticised the people on the big tv scrren right in front of us which showed ugly people on a reality show and adds about Aishwarya Rai being a part of PINK PANTHER 2.

Then we bitched about our issues with people all over, mainly at PODAR. But that was fun. I can do that very few people, and am glad I can with her and a couple of other people, freely that is. And after having paid the bill, which took another 10 hours to arrive, we left for home, and went our seperate ways, in the opposite directions(literally in the opposite directions).

I had a lot of fun today although at many points I thought it would be boring, but I really enjoyed. Thanks Natu. Today was really great. You and I should do stuff like that more often.

Luvyu loads wifey dearest. Mwah <3

Time will heal

It's been a while
But I still sometimes feel the pain.
My wounds are still raw
And my heart is still in vain.

No this isn't a love story
For my love stories have been better
This love of a friend just seems to hurt
The friendship couldn't have been shorter.

There is a craving to re-create those memories,
Where did we ever go wrong?
I want you back
But since the last time I've said that, it' been way too long.

I was hurt, wounded
My heart ripped out of my chest.
You deserve much better, so everyone says,
Forget about them, embrace the rest.

You're my friend
And believe me, am still waiting.
I want to re-live those moments again
I miss those long phone calls of nautical nonsense of shopping and dating.

Bring back THAT FRIEND
Is what I always pray while I kneel
A voice inside me says,
Those wounds, time will heal.

I haven't mentioned who this is
But I hope you know and if and when you do,
I just want you to know
I'll always be waiting, even if the whole world turns back on you.

Effects of an English Commentary.

It's been less that 10 days and we already have about 15 commentaries in hand for what we call the ENGLISH A1 INDIVIDUAL ORAL COMMENTARY!
English used to be my favourtie subject. I used to look forward to it every morning. Literature has always interested me. And how can I forget the movies we watched too, with the ame songs and dances, they were still worth watching with friends. It used to be the best way to start my day. AND I used to be at school on time.
But all that has now gone for a toss. I mean look at us now! We're nothing but machines - Commentary writing machines that is! All of us! All we do is comment on how melancholic Keat's Nightingale is, how terror filled Ceasar's Rome is, what makes Elizabeth detest Darcy everytime they have an encounter, why Wordsworth "wander(s) lonely as a cloud" and how mind boggling George Orwell's Animal Farm is!!
I mean who friggin' cares! Nightingales sing every night and if you find their songs filled with sorrow, well deal with it! Not the whole world thinks that way.
Wordsworth is a freak! I mean how long can you go on staring at nature! It bugs the crap out of you! And he calls himself a romantic! Why again you ask, eh? Because apparently he and The daffodils" romance each other!
What is with these poets?! Can't they stop writing poems on birds?? And for God's sake Shelley, the Skylark is NOT an incarnation of DIVINITY, more like VANITY!
And who cares about Darcy and Elizabeth anyway.Everyone knows they eventually fall in love! How predictable could Austen get??!!
I don't friggin care about a pig named SNOWBALL or NAPOLEON and how they actually characeterise themselves as JOSEPH STALIN and his stupid Communist government. AND WHY THE HELL WOULD SOMEONE RE-CREATE AND RE-NAME "COMMUNISM" AS "ANIMALISM". I mean how lame can you get!
And please, Caesar's Rome is just fine! I mean common dude, it's the FRIGGIN' CAPITAL OF ITALY! BE HAPPY FOR ONCE WOULD YOU?!
Yes one can now see my anger and how much I despise the English Literature. And I was thinking of doing a double major. Why can't we have something cooler like commenting on poes composed by ourselves and passed around in class. I mean altough they'd be filled with a lot of stuff the yester generation wouldn't appreciate but who cares? I mean it makes more sense AND interests us too you know?! And for prose why can't we just have the HARRY POTTER and the TWILIGHT SERIES?! I'd rather read that than learn how a stupid talking pig overtook his farm and rebelled against the farmer! Ugh..after IB I shall never write a commentary again, especially, on poems by the "ROMANTICS"!!!!
(Written out of pure boredom and frustration)

Myths and truths of IB.

1. Myth: IB gets you to reach new heights.
Truth: IB gets you in the middle of no where.
2. Myth: Getting 45 is the easiest thing ever!
Truth: I shall quote a friend: "The number 45 never looked so high". Believe me.
3. Myth: Writing a TOK essay doesn't sound that bad.
Truth: Believe me, it's the worst thing that could happen to you!
4. Myth: IB is interesting and intriguing.
Truth: IB is a fatal disease that kills slowly!
5. Myth: G4 projects are fun.
Truth: The person who thinks that is no less than a picklehead!
6. Myth: IB is sooooo COOL!!!
Truth: NOT!
7. Myth: IB students are protagonists. They are trained to make their own path to life's best destination.
Truth: IB students are NOT protagonists, they're just victims! IB trains them to make their own path to DOOM!
8. Myth: IB can get you into the best universities.
Truth: The chance of that are not really great. It can only happen if you are smart enough to get through and the possibilities of that are worse than those of "getting into the best uiversities"!
9. Myth: IB is the best curriculum by far.
Truth: Really? You may want to re-think and pay close attention to that one!
10. Myth: PODAR is one of the best for IB.
Truth: The next time a PODAR-ite hears someone saying that, they're going to shoot the idiot!